When your Wife is Fat

Introduction;

Is the woman in your life hefty? Do you love the way she looks no matter what? Pudginess and all? Is it safe to say, that you are NOT head-over-heals in love with their new sense of low self-esteem, from being overweight?

Be honest with yourself, it will make a difference on how you read this hub.

This hub is geared towards, helping all those in need of getting from here to there. Since I'm a hefty housewife myself, I have intimate first hand knowledge, of life as a sex goddess gone fat. Therefore, I do personally know how to help your fat-lover get passed their fat issues. In keeping that in mind, this hub is not a promise to be a new cure all fix. It is not a self promotional blog, nor am I working for a company to sell you something. I just don't believe that people should be content with having a crappy sex life. Consider this blog a road map to finding a mutual understanding and respect between the both of you.

Flashing Back to My Life; As for myself, when my husband and I said the, "in sickness and in health” wedding vow, I selfishly included any and all. What I mean by that is, is it took me a long while to realize that maybe my newfound low self-esteem, was something my loving, husband didn’t think about when he said those vows to me. Moreover than that, was the fact that when we married, I was steeping with self-confidence over my former size and beauty.

Nevertheless, even though the "I do’s" were said, try asking your mate what they were thinking. Though, you might better off trusting me when I say, it was more along the lines of cancer or something terrible like that. I’ve yet to come across a man who said to me, “Yes, Julie I was thinking of her weight gain and self-esteem issues.” Come on now, seriously have you?

Sex Goddess Gone Fat ;

It is a double edge sword, which women need to realize when I say that, most men find it extremely difficult to deal with change. It is generally hard and somewhat upsetting for men, to deal with the fact that their sexual partner has become bouncy, plump, or fat. With that said, it is perfectly natural for them to feel this way. Sometimes that type of change, from their chosen life partners, was not expected. Moreover, there is concrete evidence supporting the fact very few men like change. It is a well known fact the world over; traditionally society has conditioned men towards routine. Therefore, any weight gain on your part was not initially part of that day-to-day routine. Now on the other hand, this is not a license to call your newly, plump love one names.If that is what your relationship has developed into, it is my guess that the both of you have greater issues than sex- to deal with. On the other side of the coin, women are conditioned to embrace change. Understanding the fact that maybe she doesn’t appreciate (understand) the man’s newfound stand-off behavior, can have a lot to do with explaining why her self-esteem has all but faded away.

Feeling sexy is a state of mind. The problem is that many heavyset women ignore that fact. They simply fail to realize that they have the same potential, to be the Sex Goddess they always were. That my friend, is where a little positive re-enforcement from you, is the most beneficial.

Believe it or not, sometimes the act of touch is a quick fix to your lover's low self-esteem. Sometimes if you’re lucky, just rubbing your wife/hubby's big, fat belly is enough to get them past feeling ugly. However, there are those times that no matter you do or say; it is not enough. I find most people are like this.

Why?

Women and men tend to let todays society standards, dictate to them the terms and conditions in which to live by. Being fat, is an unacceptable standard in today's society.

Taking the Initiative ;

Life creates uncomfortable circumstances. These fussy messes have a way of sneaking into our bedrooms and disrupting your sex life. Naturally, gaining unwanted weight can be one of them. It is unrealistic to expect love ones to feel comfortable with you; when what they see in the mirror, makes them feel uncomfortable with themselves. The time you have spent together, does not matter either in this instance. However, it is the key to getting her from here to there.

Earlier this month, I featured a piece called the Sensate Focus Sexual Exercise. Applying many of this ideas and techniques (taught to you) can help you, and your lover to move past any insecurity & steam forward as before. Better still, other couples helped by this exercise, have been able to see vast improvements in their sex lives. This personal journey has a way of tearing down those confinements, that has forever kept you and your lover contained in backwards motion. It is truly silly to live your life with a lover and never be fully sexually satisfied.

Created in the 1970's, the Sensate Focus sexual exercise is a revolutionizing experience to making better lovers. With over twenty-four years of sexual experience, I have known nothing else like it. Personally, I have read all of Nancy Friday's sexual fantasy books. I have even participated in Laura Corn's sex invitational skits, only to be left feeling dirty or victimized when through. The Sensate Focus sexual exercise is none of that. Through a variety of steps and stages, people are able to build back self-esteem and confidence, slowly and effectively. It is a way to learn more about one another. This sexual exploratory practice was developed to help couples; victims of severe sexual rape, incest or other such violations, move pass inhibitions that they might be suffering from. What these doctors from Washington University, in St. Louis, Missouri discovered were techniques, that not only accomplish the initial goal, but so much more. What they found was an exercise; that through the sense of touching, taught people how satisfy their partners on each other’s (own) terms. More importantly, in the end nobody in a relationship, felt violated or victimized repeatedly. The years together as sexual partners, will benefit you the most at this stage. Since some trust is established, when it is up to you to help your partner get over their poor self-image, it is easier for you to introduce the exercise. Plus-size women are not always easily convinced. It is up to you to tell her that you want or need more erotica. If you love the way she looks, fat and all, show her by touching her.