Just Say NO to Spandex

Wow! Seriously, the Spandex craze is something but a few extreme athletes are capable of pulling off. When spandex first appeared on the fashion scene, back in the mid-nineteen eighties, even heavy metal rockbands got into the craze. That was until they realized you could measured how much coke they snorted, do to the lack of package size in their private area. What plump, large and plus size people also fail to realize, is that spandex doesn’t even look good on skinny people either. Moreover, make no mistake about it Spandex is not sexy outwear or loungewear for that matter.  So how about it people, if the heavy metal rockbands can give it up, I know you can.

Give it up already! Spandex on certain people is about as attractive as; a big ball of earwax, on a fresh new cotton Q-tip. Take it from a plus-size chick, who suffered through the Spandex 1980’s once already, there's nothing sexy about a fat chick in spandex. That is unless you are wearing spandex as an undergarment, called a girdle. Save the spandex as backup when your corset or girdle is dirty.

It's my opinion that you're just asking for extra stares, snickers, and giggles when you post yourself up wearing spandex on the Internet, in the grocery store or anywhere outside your home. It's time to pull your head out of your butt and start dressing more appropriate according to your size. Sexy and chunky is one thing and looking ridiculous in spandex, is all together an entirely different matter.

You know when you were a child and your mother yelled at you when you were about to touch something hot? Remember how she’d say, “No Jane that’s hot. It’ll burn you Jane if you touched it.”, remember? On the other hand, use my earwax analogy if you can relate better to it; but somehow, someway it is time you learned how to say no to spandex.

I was watching a program about a gothic cruise the other day. On this program was real men and women strutting their stuff on a cruise ship to somewhere exotic. What I found the be the most sexiest feature, that all these gothic dressers seemed to have in common, was they new how to dress their individual fat rolls and height to make them better looking, sexier and confident.   It was awesome and none of them wore spandex.  Moreover, they all knew how to accentuate their props and thunders and make themselves look spectacular. Too many times, plump and fat equals sloppy and lazy. Now how in the hell do you expect to attract a half-way decent playmate if you don’t give two shits about the way you look? Wear a “wife-beater tank” land yourself a wife beatin’ man. It’s that simple ladies. To expect something else is your problem. The way we dress, is simply another way of telling others what we are willing to accept.